Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
