it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
