We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
