I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
