is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
you win again, gameday.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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