i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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