i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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