What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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