I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
