Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
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