Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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