I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
