Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
