i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
