Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
