I heard we made out
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
