the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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