What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Holy sore nipples Batman
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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