did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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