He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
