I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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