He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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