her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
