No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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