Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Randomize
