i think my tv is drunk
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
