She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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