My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
