I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
