A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
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