this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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