watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize