Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
