well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
