Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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