Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
