You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
