There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
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