At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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