I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
