May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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