i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
