Quick, to the slutcave!
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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