he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
How drunk are you?
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