The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
