You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You made out with two different species that night
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
