he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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