i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
