I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
The adults are the big ones right?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
