how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
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