I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
