tell your sister to shave her snatch
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
