I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
